According to The Knot, Seth and I have 200 days till our wedding. We started with over 400.. crazy.
Anyway, that's not what I'm here to say. This blog wasn't meant to be entirely about the wedding, so I'm here to change the current trend. I'm going to talk to you about Seth. It's fairly easy for me to do, but these specific details might explain a little about us.
If you haven't noticed, Seth is quite the involved groom. He's been that way long before we actually got engaged. Granted, it's unusual, but I love it. What I find interesting is how opposed some people are to groom involvement in wedding planning. Some people, mostly females, laugh it off and joke about how his opinion doesn't really matter. Honestly, I had people roll their eyes at me when I mentioned that I wouldn't make a final decision on tablecloths until I'd talked about it with Seth. For the life of me, I cannot figure out why I wouldn't.
I'm marrying him, right? Meaning: we are committing to spending the rest of our lives together with each other, through the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, and the unexpected. Meaning: every decision I make affects now not only my life but his life as well. Meaning: communication, compromise, and understanding each others' wants, desires, needs, preferences, goals, fears, dislikes, and peeves are significant - nay, crucial - to a happy, healthy, supportive, effective life-long relationship.
Does it honestly make sense to begin a marriage by isolating one-half of a couple, responding to him with a disinterested chuckle and ignoring his opinions? Does it make sense to make decisions without the one with whom all future decisions will be made?
The one thing I understand less and less as the days count down is how there can be so much preparation for the wedding and so little preparation for the marriage.
I thank God as often as I can that Seth is the man He put in my life. I thank God that Seth spent hours online with me (and without me) looking through wedding invitations. I thank God that Seth wanted to go to the florist with me and had an opinion while he was there. I thank God that he asks questions so that our individual ideas of the wedding are as close as possible. Why? Because I know that every time we discuss the wedding, we learn another life lesson. We learn about each other; we learn how to communicate what we are trying to say in a way that the other understands. We learn how to work together to prioritize items within a budget. We learn what makes the other shine.
I'm sure that I haven't articulated my thoughts as completely as I wanted when I began, but I hope that when you finish reading this blog entry, you understand one of the many complexities that is Seth and Shelley. I'm not intending to say that Seth and I live a flawless existence together, but I do feel strongly about this situation. He is my future partner and the future head of my family. He's important to me, and I treasure his opinion, advice, and interest.
Now, I'm off my soapbox for today (which is lucky because the day's almost over).
Amen!
ReplyDeleteI 100% agree with that. I hate comments like "Oh, you don't need to ask Chris" or "chris won't have an opinion" or "The groom's job is just to sit there and nod." I don't want my relationship to be one sided at all! He and I should make decisions together from small to big. If I don't feel like I should ask him about how our Save-the-dates should look, why would I turn to him about something bigger if I am already in the habit of not turning to him.
It's so silly. I want and need Chris involved as much as possible in every decision (minus what I'm wearing :) haha).
So yeah. That's why we're twins. I agree with everything this post said.
I Love you!